It's Hard To Play Baseball When Your Left Wrist Doesn't Work

That headline says it all. The Yankees have left wrist issues. Who knew that this was the ailment that was going to erase 200 rbis from the lineup? Sheffield is already out with an injured left wrist and could stay on the DL after the 15 days are up. Matsui is out indefinitely, some say three months, and his very annoying consecutive game streak is over. Other than Yomiuri Giants junkies, I don't think anyone cared that much about the streak. I love Matsui, but these consecutive game streaks are really overrated. Matsui's subpar playoff performance last year could have been attributed to the fatigue of playing every freakin' day. Now Matsui is out, along with the continuously disgruntled Sheffield (imagine the anger of every Philadelphia sports fan condensed into one human being) and Yankee fans are ready to freak out. On Mike and the Mad Dog today, I heard a visibly shaken Mike suggest that the Yankees go after Bobby Abreu, Carlos Lee, Ken Griffey Jr., Ichiro Suzuki (he wasn't nuts about Ichiro) and Cliff Floyd. Mike's trade talks were complemented by the rabid and unemployed callers. You gotta love the callers. "Joe from Bayonne, you're on the show" "Long time listener, first time caller. I'm a big Yankees fan and I got a great trade for the Yanks. So we deal Melky Cabrera and cash to the Cardinals for Albert Pujols. Then the Cardinals trade So Taguchi to the Marlins and the Marlins trade Dontrelle Willis to the Yankees. We keep Pujols at first, move Giambi to the DH and package Bernie in a trade for Jonathan Papelbon." Ok, that call didn't take place but the hyperbole really isn't that far off. I would now like to address my fellow Yankee fan brethren about the losses of Matsui and Sheffield. Brethren, we have been through much together. Yay, my fellows, do not fear that the Great Matsui and Great Sheffield have departed from thy grassy plains. For we still possess the Great Damon, Jeter, Rodriguez, Giambi, Posada, and Cano. Our lineup still has the strength of one thousand cannonballs. Thy White Sox of the burgh of Chicago have taught us that pitching steers the baseball units toward thy ultimate golden grail: victory. The goddess of victory shall bless our valiant hearts when thou pitching staff makes thy curveballs break and thy fastballs move with the speed of one thousand gazelles. For crying out loud, the lineup is still pretty goddamn good. Holy crap people, the Yankees can still score 800 or 900 runs for the season. Losing Matsui stinks, but pitching is what matters. The Yankees can survive with Crosby and Melky as long as Crosby plays his usual solid defense and Melky plays his usual, semi-ok-when-he's-not-dropping-easy-flyballs-in-crucial-games defense. The Yankees can hit. They can score. But they can't make Randy Johnson 28 again. Time Machines are for the movies.