I Have Come To Address The Glog

Sorry for the delay in posts. I have been quite busy lately at Barbaro's stable, reading him 17th century poetry and feeding him yodels. Anyway, on CBS.Sportsline.com, there is a new feature called a "Live Game Glog" which appears when one enters the gamecenter. Now I don't want to go all Phil Mushnick on everyone, but this thing is seriously one stupid piece of crap. CBS.Sportsline explains the glog as a "live game log. It is the expert color commentary, the conversation you are having with your buddy on the couch and the critques you are making from the cheap seats all rolled into one." Fair enough. Let's see what amazing nuggets the glog has served up tonight. As I write this entry, the Yankees are beating the Red Sox 8-2. Here are some of the comments the glog aka "normal regular fan" has made.

Bottom 2nd - 2-8 N. Y.
Oh man Josh Beckett is in deep trouble in the Bronx. He's not getting robbed at the train station but he's getting rushed by the Bronx Bombers. Jason Giambi just hit the cover off the ball with a three run shot to right field and the Yankees now have a six run lead.
Hahahahahaha. Thank-you glog, aka regular normal fan, for your normal fan "joke." "He's not getting robbed at the train station..." is a lame generic joke about the Bronx that actually sounds vaguely racist. If jokes are going to be racist, they have to be REMOTELY funny. Not that I normally get offended by jokes, I just get offended by really bad jokes. And seriously, what retard fan is actually sitting on his couch now talking to his buddy and equating Beckett being rocked to a train station robbery? This glog reminds me of the 50 year-old dad trying to be "cool" with his son by talking late 80's street slang and dropping MC Hammer references. Also, Mr. Glog, you don't sound like Average Joe by saying "hit the cover off the ball" instead of homerun. You just don't.

Bottom 2nd - 2-8 N. Y.
The New York Yankees finally got some sweet revenge on Beckett in the Bronx. It's not in a World Series game but the Yankees lineup beat up on Josh for 7 hits and 8 runs in two innings and he was removed from the game. The fans were on their feet to cheer for the Bombers. Alex Rodriguez is on first and Posada who started this inning with a single is back at the plate. Van Buren relieves Beckett
Seriously, this ass beating of Beckett is not in a World Series game? Really, Mr. Glog, I had no freakin clue! I swear! I thought there was some transdimensional time shift which allowed June 5th to turn into October 20th and the Red Sox and the Yankees to both play in the World Series, despite the fact that they are AL teams. Again, thank-you Mr. Glog for your fan-friendly insight. I'm glad you also told me that the "fans were on their feet." I have no recollection of Yankee fans ever cheering a homerun by a Yankee or "bomber" as you cleverly have put it. In fact, I always believed that when a Yankee hit a homerun against the Red Sox at Yankee Stadium, the fans would boo profusley! Giambi, you goddamn bastard stop hitting homeruns! Boooooooooooo.
I also have to include this from the top of the first inning, it's so stupid...

Top 1st
After giving up a lead off double, Mike Muuuuuuuuuuuussina struck out the side to end the inning. Mussina looked great in the first and he will need to keep it up for seven innings to pull out another win. Damon will lead off against Beckett in the bottom of the first. Mr. Glog apparantly believes that all fans sitting on their couches watching Yankee games refer to Mike Mussina as Muuuuuuuuuusina. Yes, we all imitate the moose call whenever possible Mr. Glog. Also, brilliant baseball analysis with the "Mussina will need to keep it up for seven innings to pull out another win." No shit sherlock doesn't even apply here. This is beyond no shit sherlock. This is like no shit Sir. Arthur Conan Fucking Doyle. No, scratch that, this is like saying "Jim Thome will have to keep hitting homeruns in order to hit more homeruns so he can win a homerun title, because a homerun title is based upon how many homeruns one hits." Mr. Glog's analysis is almost Joe Morgan esque. I only have one more thing to say to you Mr. Glog: kill yourself.